Speaking Names Clearly

Many people mumble and stumble through names and abbreviations of names making it impossible to understand what they are saying. I am calling special attention to this because time and gain I have to remind the participants in my workshops to speak the name of people, places, and things slowly and clearly. This is true even for many experienced speakers. When you have a written text, names and letter and abbreviations are always printed in bold type, or italics, or some form of capital letter. The same type of special attention should be paid to names when they are spoken. Actually, more attention is necessary because the spoken word is so fleeting. Even if your associates tell you that your talk went very well, ask if they were really able to understand all the names you mentioned.

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Me, Likable?

Many of my students who feel very nervous and uncomfortable in front of an audience, cannot believe that their discomfort is not visible. Yet as long as their practice the TalkPower techniques they appear very likeable and are easy to listen to. Time and again, after a wonderfully entertaining talk, a student in my class reports, “Oh I thought I was speaking so slowly…You mean you really like my talk?” “Yes, yes” the class responds, “You were not slow at all. You were a pleasure to listen to.”

LIKABILITY IS A SKILL

You realize of course, that appearing likeable is a technique, a learned skill. You can learn that technique you really can. If you have any doubt about this, take a look at this quote by Jose Ferrer in Actors Talk About Acting.

            “Who know what happened to me. I may have a cold, I may have a hangover. Maybe I couldn’t sleep last night because my wife left me. I have to be good for a sharp audience who demands only the best. My voice, my body, my everything has to work for me. That is what technique is.”

                                                            -Jose Ferrer

LOOKING THOUGHTFUL

People know when you are thinking. They can feel it as you draw within for a mini second to think about something—to answer a question, to find just the right word—and people like thoughtful leaders. They like to know that someone is responsible enough to care about how he will handle their destiny or deal with their fears and concerns. Thoughtfulness is a very attractive quality for a speaker, a leader, or a sales person. In contrast, standup comics don’t have to be too thoughtful on stage, because standup comics are only entertaining you and not attempting to impact your life. However, leaders, speakers, and sales people should look thoughtful because when they don’t, people don’t trust them. How does one look thoughtful? Don’t talk too fast, pause before you answer a question, and practice the TalkPower program so that you can look thoughtful in a relaxed and natural manner.

Where to Look

Should you make direct eye contact with the audience before you begin speaking? The answer, you might be surprised to learn, is no.

Making eye contact (which means having a nonverbal eye to eye conversation) distracts you at a time when you need your concentration to focus on your first words, your adjustment to this high visibility, the strangeness of the distance between yourself and the audience, your rapid heartbeat, and the general shock of the performance situation. You need time, about 30 seconds or even more, to get used to all of this.

ADJUSTING TO THE AUDIENCE:

The next phase involves your awareness of the audience, so that you can slip into an easy and comfortable relationship with them. This will happen automatically if you stand still when you first face your audience. You don’t have to do a thing except squeeze your toes three times slowly before you speak your first words. This phase is enormously important. If you do it correctly you will feel very much in control.

WHERE TO LOOK:

Look straight ahead at the faces in your audience, perhaps at their foreheads or even their hair. Look neither too high above their heads, nor so low that you appear to be looking at the floor. Making eye contact is not necessary because if the audience looks into your eyes and you are looking at their faces, you will feel as if you are making eye contact. The necessity for direct eye contact is a myth. For example, when you go to the movies and become involved with the story you laugh, you cry, you may become terrified, yet none of the actors in the screen make eye contact with you. In the same sense, when you are speaking, in is not necessary for you to look into the eyes of your audience for them to feel involved with you. Just don’t look above or below their faces. After two or three minutes have passed, and you feel you have established yourself in front of your audience and your presentation is flowing, you may choose to make direct eye contact with one or several of the members in your audience, as long as it does not disturb your concentration. Do what feels comfortable to you.

While keeping your gaze at the face level of your audience, do not fix anyone with a prolonged stare. Actively staring into the eyes of your audience implies that you are perusing them “Do you like me? Is this good?” Don’t look for approval. The audience looks to you for leadership. Lead!

SCANNING THE ROOM:

When you fist stand in front of your audience, please—do not mechanically scan the room, moving your head from right to left as if your eyes where great flood lights emanating from a controlled tower. This is extremely awkward and looks unnatural. Instead, as I have just said, when you first stand in front of an audience, before you begin to speak, be as still as possible and look straight ahead in the general direction of their faces. A smile is nice, but it isn’t essential. If you can smile a small smile, smile. If you want the complete attention of the audience, your physical stillness, rather than your physical activity, will make this happen.

As your speech progresses and you become more comfortable, from time to time, you can move your head slowly, looking at your audience to the left or right. Once again, naturalness and comfort should decide when and if you look at various people in the room. If at first this pose seems stiff and robotic, do not change back to your old nervous behavior. Eventually, you will relax into physical stillness so that you feel comfortable and empowered.

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Facing the Audience

When you first face the audience you will feel a slight shock. It is in this moment that you shift from being a private person to relating to the audience. A few seconds of silence before you speak will help you to make this transition. The silence now allows an introductory process to begin so that you and your audience can tune into one another.

On the other hand, if you start speaking immediately, you will be skipping a very important step. Imagine meeting a new person and launching right into a conversation instead of introducing yourself and shaking hands. This behavior is just as awkward as facing your audience and starting your talk without an initial pause.

A good way to do this is to stand still, face your audience, and slowly squeeze your toes thee times before you say the first words of your speech. This gives the audience time to focus their complete attention on you.

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