copyright 2015 TalkPower Inc.
Showing posts with label Panic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Panic. Show all posts
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Thursday, September 3, 2015
Sunday, August 30, 2015
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Me, Likable?
Many of my students who feel very nervous and uncomfortable
in front of an audience, cannot believe that their discomfort is not visible.
Yet as long as their practice the TalkPower techniques they appear very
likeable and are easy to listen to. Time and again, after a wonderfully
entertaining talk, a student in my class reports, “Oh I thought I was speaking
so slowly…You mean you really like my talk?” “Yes, yes” the class responds,
“You were not slow at all. You were a pleasure to listen to.”
LIKABILITY IS A SKILL
You realize of course, that appearing likeable is a
technique, a learned skill. You can learn that technique you really can. If you
have any doubt about this, take a look at this quote by Jose Ferrer in Actors Talk About Acting.
“Who know what happened to me. I may
have a cold, I may have a hangover. Maybe I couldn’t sleep last night because
my wife left me. I have to be good for a sharp audience who demands only the
best. My voice, my body, my everything has to work for me. That is what
technique is.”
-Jose
Ferrer
LOOKING THOUGHTFUL
People know when you are thinking. They
can feel it as you draw within for a mini second to think about something—to answer
a question, to find just the right word—and people like thoughtful leaders. They
like to know that someone is responsible enough to care about how he will
handle their destiny or deal with their fears and concerns. Thoughtfulness is a
very attractive quality for a speaker, a leader, or a sales person. In contrast,
standup comics don’t have to be too thoughtful on stage, because standup comics
are only entertaining you and not attempting to impact your life. However,
leaders, speakers, and sales people should look thoughtful because when they don’t,
people don’t trust them. How does one look thoughtful? Don’t talk too fast,
pause before you answer a question, and practice the TalkPower program so that
you can look thoughtful in a relaxed and natural manner.
Saturday, August 22, 2015
The Likability Factor
I frequently ask my TalkPower client “ what is your personal
objective in giving a presentation?” The answer usually is: to communicate a
message, to sell a product, to convince them to do something, to unite people,
and other variations on these themes. The answers are usually about the speech,
never about the speaker. From my point of view, the most important personal
objective is to be likeable. By this
I mean general impression of confidence, ease, credibility, and warmth you
project so that people feel comfortable with you.
Likeability happens when you are in control of yourself.
Then you are able to be clear, not talk too fast, and your words flow with
ease. A likeable speaker has a much better chance of getting an idea across,
selling a product, convincing people to vote for him, and certainly winning an
election. Our resent history abounds with stories of politicians who seemingly
came out of nowhere to capture the public vote simply because people “like
them.” I could go on and on, but you get the idea.
Now, the reason I make such a fuss about this likeability
notion is because so many people secretly believe that before they have a right
to ask others to listen to them, they have to be brilliant, superintelligent,
clever, witty, dynamic, innovative, or else they do not deserve to stand in
front of an audience and talk. As a result, either you avoid speaking or your
talk is top heavy with facts, statistics, attempts at inspiring
generalizations, and huff-and-puff.
How unnecessary! Just use the TalkPower formula
(the innovative concentration exercises, the focusing and stress reduction
techniques), tell stories, look away from your script at the audience from time
to time, handling yourself in a leader-like manner… In other words, be likable, and you will be a huge success!For the TalkPower formula see the kindle book or attend one of the in-person TalkPower workshops
www.talkpowerinc.com
TalkPower Kindle
Friday, August 21, 2015
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Facing the Audience
When you first face the audience you will feel a slight
shock. It is in this moment that you shift from being a private person to
relating to the audience. A few seconds of silence before you speak will help
you to make this transition. The silence now allows an introductory process to
begin so that you and your audience can tune into one another.
On the other hand, if you start speaking immediately, you
will be skipping a very important step. Imagine meeting a new person and
launching right into a conversation instead of introducing yourself and shaking
hands. This behavior is just as awkward as facing your audience and starting
your talk without an initial pause.
A good way to do this is to stand still, face your audience,
and slowly squeeze your toes thee times before you say the first words of your
speech. This gives the audience time to focus their complete attention on you.
Monday, August 17, 2015
Sunday, August 16, 2015
Public Speaking Phobia Acquired Later in Life
I used to love
speaking in public and I don’t know what happened but for the last three years,
whenever an opportunity comes up when I have to make a comment, address a
group, or ask a question at a meeting, at that precise moment all of my brain
functions jam. And there I am, hopeless, shamed…I fee like a victim in front of
a firing squad.
-Erwin, accountant
Some 70 percent of my
students and clients recall that from early childhood they were shy and didn’t
speak up, the other 30 percent who suffer from public speaking phobia had a
different story. These people were once excellent speakers. Generally outgoing,
they were active in drama and debate clubs, were class valedictorian or
presidents of class societies.
They all report that one day their ability to speak in
public vanished and they had abandon all opportunities. Behavioral psychology
tells us that phobias happen after a traumatic event—usually an experience that
shakes the individual to his/her core—like a psychological near death
experience. This could be as serious as a terrible car accident, sudden death
of a loved one, a natural disaster, and experience in combat, acts of
terrorism, rape, etc. Oddly enough, experiences that one can consider rather
benign can also produce such an effect. For example, going away to college,
moving to a new community, losing a job, etc. although these events are no
where as near as life threatening as those in the previous list, with certain
individuals they can fall under the category of traumatic events. As a result one
sense of personal control and safety is utterly shattered at the deepest level
of self, resulting in Post Traumatic
Stress Syndrome. The stress reaction can appear immediately or up to two
years after the traumatic event. No matter what the cause, or the variety or
precipitating events, the result can be a phobia, such as fears of flying,
driving, fear of heights, or enclosed spaces. The phobia triggered by a
particular event can them generalize to other areas, such as fear of escalators
or trains, or a sudden panic attack in front of an audience.
The panic attack causes an episode of thought blocking and
becomes another traumatic event that will not be forgotten. The next time an
opportunity for speaking arises you are psychologically transported to the
past—and that moment when you are speechless. You simply cannot do it; you
decline with some excuse. One avoidant excuse leads to another, and in a very
short time you have glossophobia, an irrational fear of speaking in public.
Saturday, August 15, 2015
Thursday, August 13, 2015
Denial
Not only is there an individual silence about speaking in
public, there is also a national silence. The problem receives so little
attention you would think it doesn’t exist. For example, there are no public
speaking phobia specialists attached to speech departments in colleges and
universities. There is no National Public Speaking-Phobia Society; even the Encyclopedia Britanica, under the
category of “speech” has no reference to this condition. In the speech
category, although various esoteric conditions and maladies are cited, there is
no listing of public speaking phobia itself, although it has a name:
glossophobia.
Why is it that in the United States—one of the few countries
in the world where freedom of speech is guaranteed by a constitution—fear of speaking
in public is the number one phobia? This is a question I asked every time I
appeared on radio or television during my first book tour. Nobody seemed to
have an answer.
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