Public Speaking Phobia Acquired Later in Life

I used to love speaking in public and I don’t know what happened but for the last three years, whenever an opportunity comes up when I have to make a comment, address a group, or ask a question at a meeting, at that precise moment all of my brain functions jam. And there I am, hopeless, shamed…I fee like a victim in front of a firing squad.

                                                                        -Erwin, accountant

 Some 70 percent of my students and clients recall that from early childhood they were shy and didn’t speak up, the other 30 percent who suffer from public speaking phobia had a different story. These people were once excellent speakers. Generally outgoing, they were active in drama and debate clubs, were class valedictorian or presidents of class societies.

They all report that one day their ability to speak in public vanished and they had abandon all opportunities. Behavioral psychology tells us that phobias happen after a traumatic event—usually an experience that shakes the individual to his/her core—like a psychological near death experience. This could be as serious as a terrible car accident, sudden death of a loved one, a natural disaster, and experience in combat, acts of terrorism, rape, etc. Oddly enough, experiences that one can consider rather benign can also produce such an effect. For example, going away to college, moving to a new community, losing a job, etc. although these events are no where as near as life threatening as those in the previous list, with certain individuals they can fall under the category of traumatic events. As a result one sense of personal control and safety is utterly shattered at the deepest level of self, resulting in Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. The stress reaction can appear immediately or up to two years after the traumatic event. No matter what the cause, or the variety or precipitating events, the result can be a phobia, such as fears of flying, driving, fear of heights, or enclosed spaces. The phobia triggered by a particular event can them generalize to other areas, such as fear of escalators or trains, or a sudden panic attack in front of an audience.

The panic attack causes an episode of thought blocking and becomes another traumatic event that will not be forgotten. The next time an opportunity for speaking arises you are psychologically transported to the past—and that moment when you are speechless. You simply cannot do it; you decline with some excuse. One avoidant excuse leads to another, and in a very short time you have glossophobia, an irrational fear of speaking in public.

Shame

I feel very damaged…like I have a major handicap when I stand in front of other people and have to speak. I am like a non-person.

                                                                        -Arthur

Trapped---Silent---blaming themselves, phobic speakers hide among us. Millions of people are so afraid of public exposure that they invent the most bizarre excuses to avoid speaking in public. Accidents, dead relatives, illnesses, robberies, and cutting class, serve to avoid the dreadful task. These people have a common despair, yet do not know one another and have no idea that so many others suffer as they do. Many other groups come out, talking openly about their problems. People in 12 step programs, for example, find support and dignity by telling their stories. They have learned the healing power of sharing and do not avoid speaking out. However, those with public speaking phobia would be horrified by the idea, they have a terrible need for secrecy. Memories of past denigration are so painful that they are paralyzed by shame.  Avoiding the natural impulse to reach out, they do not ask for help. Embarrassed they withdraw and remain silent.

Donald, a workshop participant, introduced himself as a nuclear engineer. He mentioned that he had an identical twin brother. Donald’s fear of public speaking was so intense that he found himself literally hiding from his manager on the days of the month when summary presentations were made. Later when I asked if his brother had the same problem, Donald said he did not know. So deep was his shame that he had never even shared his problem with his twin brother.

This story is typical. To avoid public speaking speech phobic clients turn down jobs, promotions, invitations to chair meetings, to teach, to make a toast, even to accept an award. One CEO of a major corporation told me sadly that he had been invited to speak all over the world but could never go. Another man fainted when he was nominated for prestigious award. So terrible was his anxiety about standing up to receive his award in public.

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How can I get over my anxiety before I get up to speak ?

There are two reasons why you are so anxious as you sit and wait for your name to be called.

The first reason is that you are probably Hyper Ventilating . This means that your stomach is probably locked and  as you breath , you are using your chest to do the pumping.  This triggers the fight or flight response . The Flight or Fight response is  an ancient survival mechanism that prepares you to run away or fight in the face of a threat of danger .As a result  your body  manufactures  adrenalin and sugar which    pours into your blood steam . making your heart beat very quickly . If you were doing a  cardio vascular exercise like running or swimming you would neutralize this adrenaline .But when you  are  stationary ,sitting  in your seat wiring for your turn to speak  either at a meeting or for a stand up presentation  the  inner acceleration you are  feeling builds up causing you to   feel anxious ,trapped and out of control .Of course there are varying degrees of this feeling from mild to extreme and even to the point of dread .

.Deep breathing will not work here because  if you are taking deep breaths using your chest to do the pumping Deep Breathing   will only exacerbate your rapid heartbeat and increase your  feelings of anxiety.

What to do . What you need to do is to practice  taking  slow  shallow breaths ,keeping your chest as still as possible and using your abdominal muscles to do the pumping this is also called " Diaphragmatic breathing When you pull your stomach in you should be blowing your breath out of your nose . When you relax your abdominal muscles you should be inhaling a very small amount of air. If this is not the way you normally breath then you are  breathing incorrectly.  (See chapter four "Breath Is Life" in" The New Talkpower  "Amazon .com .If you learn  how to breathe in this way ,  when  you sit in your seat waiting for your name to be called you will experience  a reduction in your anxiety
A good time to practice this technique is at night when you are in bed  before you go to sleep . Try to do 50 or more of these "belly breaths " . You will have a much less stress infused  sleeping experience.
                                       PERFORMANCE  SKILLS 

The other reason that you have feelings of anxiety  before a presentation is because you do not have performance skills  for focusing and concentration , and are using your conversational skills to get you through your presentation.

I other words if   you are not trained  to properly  handle the experience of people looking  at you (an audience )  your attention will be focused on the audience and not  on your presentation .At this time  your thoughts usually  are extremely negative . .My clients report thinking....., "I am so boring .........,I did not do enough research ........., They don't like me ........,I am taking up too much of their time ......,I have to get this over with in a hurry , And many other negative and truly frightening thoughts ..These thoughts act as a huge distraction , interfering   with your concentration,  ruining  your confidence and  creating a  tendency to speak too  quickly in addition to  other problems .  Even though you may be breathing correctly if you do not have the proper focusing  and concentration skills you will find ourself feeling  unsure and anxious no matter how many times you have rehearsed your presentation .As far as visualization  ,positive thinking  video - rehearsals and therapy  are concerned as you may  have discovered ,  these techniques are of very little value ..
.In my 25 years of experience with thousands of Talkpower clients 95 % of them report that   for the anxious speaker  these modalities  are totally useless in that  moment of truth when you are about to face a real audience .
Suggestions :The Talkpower Training  Workshop through exersises  and repetition drills will give you the proper performance skills  necessary  for transforming  your anxious out of control public speaking performance into a fluent presentation  that is confident ,  well organized and above all in control..The Workshop is guaranteed .If you are not happy after the first half day you will receive a complete refund. See TalkPower Inc.