Public Speaking Phobia Acquired Later in Life

I used to love speaking in public and I don’t know what happened but for the last three years, whenever an opportunity comes up when I have to make a comment, address a group, or ask a question at a meeting, at that precise moment all of my brain functions jam. And there I am, hopeless, shamed…I fee like a victim in front of a firing squad.

                                                                        -Erwin, accountant

 Some 70 percent of my students and clients recall that from early childhood they were shy and didn’t speak up, the other 30 percent who suffer from public speaking phobia had a different story. These people were once excellent speakers. Generally outgoing, they were active in drama and debate clubs, were class valedictorian or presidents of class societies.

They all report that one day their ability to speak in public vanished and they had abandon all opportunities. Behavioral psychology tells us that phobias happen after a traumatic event—usually an experience that shakes the individual to his/her core—like a psychological near death experience. This could be as serious as a terrible car accident, sudden death of a loved one, a natural disaster, and experience in combat, acts of terrorism, rape, etc. Oddly enough, experiences that one can consider rather benign can also produce such an effect. For example, going away to college, moving to a new community, losing a job, etc. although these events are no where as near as life threatening as those in the previous list, with certain individuals they can fall under the category of traumatic events. As a result one sense of personal control and safety is utterly shattered at the deepest level of self, resulting in Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. The stress reaction can appear immediately or up to two years after the traumatic event. No matter what the cause, or the variety or precipitating events, the result can be a phobia, such as fears of flying, driving, fear of heights, or enclosed spaces. The phobia triggered by a particular event can them generalize to other areas, such as fear of escalators or trains, or a sudden panic attack in front of an audience.

The panic attack causes an episode of thought blocking and becomes another traumatic event that will not be forgotten. The next time an opportunity for speaking arises you are psychologically transported to the past—and that moment when you are speechless. You simply cannot do it; you decline with some excuse. One avoidant excuse leads to another, and in a very short time you have glossophobia, an irrational fear of speaking in public.

Copyright TalkPower 2015

Shame

I feel very damaged…like I have a major handicap when I stand in front of other people and have to speak. I am like a non-person.

                                                                        -Arthur

Trapped---Silent---blaming themselves, phobic speakers hide among us. Millions of people are so afraid of public exposure that they invent the most bizarre excuses to avoid speaking in public. Accidents, dead relatives, illnesses, robberies, and cutting class, serve to avoid the dreadful task. These people have a common despair, yet do not know one another and have no idea that so many others suffer as they do. Many other groups come out, talking openly about their problems. People in 12 step programs, for example, find support and dignity by telling their stories. They have learned the healing power of sharing and do not avoid speaking out. However, those with public speaking phobia would be horrified by the idea, they have a terrible need for secrecy. Memories of past denigration are so painful that they are paralyzed by shame.  Avoiding the natural impulse to reach out, they do not ask for help. Embarrassed they withdraw and remain silent.

Donald, a workshop participant, introduced himself as a nuclear engineer. He mentioned that he had an identical twin brother. Donald’s fear of public speaking was so intense that he found himself literally hiding from his manager on the days of the month when summary presentations were made. Later when I asked if his brother had the same problem, Donald said he did not know. So deep was his shame that he had never even shared his problem with his twin brother.

This story is typical. To avoid public speaking speech phobic clients turn down jobs, promotions, invitations to chair meetings, to teach, to make a toast, even to accept an award. One CEO of a major corporation told me sadly that he had been invited to speak all over the world but could never go. Another man fainted when he was nominated for prestigious award. So terrible was his anxiety about standing up to receive his award in public.

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copyright TalkPower 2015

Please King Salomon, give me the half thats quiet!

Denial

Not only is there an individual silence about speaking in public, there is also a national silence. The problem receives so little attention you would think it doesn’t exist. For example, there are no public speaking phobia specialists attached to speech departments in colleges and universities. There is no National Public Speaking-Phobia Society; even the Encyclopedia Britanica, under the category of “speech” has no reference to this condition. In the speech category, although various esoteric conditions and maladies are cited, there is no listing of public speaking phobia itself, although it has a name: glossophobia.

Why is it that in the United States—one of the few countries in the world where freedom of speech is guaranteed by a constitution—fear of speaking in public is the number one phobia? This is a question I asked every time I appeared on radio or television during my first book tour. Nobody seemed to have an answer.

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Thinking in public

The most difficult thing for a person who is anxious about speaking in public to do is to think his/her own thoughts while other people (the audience) are watching. The reason for this is that as children they were interrupted by powerful others, who barged in on them and humiliated them, challenged and criticized them. Again and again students report that they were punished for speaking up and voicing their opinions. Little or no attention was paid to their feelings or boundaries as mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, and teachers dismissed their expression as if it was worthless. Another way that thought blocking is developed is when a parent or a teacher pressures a child with “what is the answer? Quick, quick! Hurry, hurry! Tell us the answer, talk, talk!” as if to say, “What is the matter with you? Are you stupid or something?”

Such a forceful intrusion into the mind of a young person is terrifying and causes a freezing up or a temporary mental paralysis, as a result you lose the ability to think or talk quickly, when others in authority are present. This condition persists into adulthood and occurs in all performance situations. Although people may have no problem speaking or thinking in a one on one, where a friendly or even a professional exchange is a usual style of talking, whenever the speechphobic individual is in a performance mode being observed or judged by others, the result is thought blocking and an inability to perform.

Although it would seem that since this problem was initiated in early childhood, you could overcome your fear and thought blocking in therapy; in my experience as a therapist and working with highly anxious professionals, knowing why you have this problem and talking about it will not change the automatic reaction of the inability to think on your feet in front of an audience.

For a strep-by-step method for regaining the ability to think fluidly in public see Chapter 5 A Panic Clinic for Public Speaking: How-to for the Hopeless in The New TalkPower available in print on Amazon or as a kindle book (TalkPower: A Panic Clinic for Public Speaking).

www.TalkPowerInc.com